Dana finds such comfort in writing this blog and I am so happy that she found an outlet for the many emotions that run through her mind as we continue on this journey to once again become parents. I am so appreciative of each and every one of you that takes the time to read and follow along with us. Since I also love to write, I am excited to share my very first blog with you all tonight. I am sure it won’t be Dana quality, but hopefully it will shed a little more light on me and what this journey has meant to me…
She just can’t seem to get enough “Daddy Time” recently. Since I work full time, Addison and I get limited time together during the week…we spend the early mornings together before I leave and I am welcomed home by her every evening for dinner and am usually the one who takes her to bed. The weekend is when our “real” time together begins…Addison loves the weekends and is all about our crazy games and our silly inside jokes that can sometimes drive Dana crazy…which of course, make them all that much better.
At one point during this past holiday weekend, I was lying on the family room floor hoping to get a short nap in before our next event of the day began. Dana and Addison were playing in the same room and I started to doze off. My little girl, however, wanted nothing to do with me resting. This was her time, our time, and she was not going to give up that easily. As I lie there on the floor she started to crawl all over me, gently placing checkers on my face, and whispering in my ear “Daddy, don’t go to sleep” … all in an attempt to keep me awake and spend as much time with me as possible. The nap never happened - as it never does. Unless she is napping, there is no nap for Daddy.
Times like these make me sit back and realize what a precious gift it is to be a dad. There she is … more perfect than I could have ever dreamed, and she wants nothing more than to play with me and share all this love overflowing from her heart. I found myself lying on the floor that afternoon smiling at how great it is to be this little girl’s dad. At dinner that night, a time we often go around the table and share what we are thankful for, I told her that my attempted nap was the best part of my weekend.
What an awesome responsibility to be that important to another person, to be that loved and cherished and for nothing more than being her Dad. It is an honor to parent this little girl, to guide her and help her navigate her way through this life. It is so important to me to always remember that every interaction with her creates this mosaic which will become her childhood. To remember that even when I am tired and would really like to nap, this little person is bursting with love and life and the most important thing I can do is simply spend time with her. I don’t see this as pressure or a burden – quite the opposite actually. Being a parent is the best gift I have ever received.
I always wanted to be a parent, but understandably had no idea what that actually entailed. Now, almost 5 years in, I have a better perspective than ever, but I know I still have so much to learn. I think that’s the best thing about being a family. You are in this together and even though we don’t know what’s around the next corner, I find tremendous comfort knowing that at least Dana and Addison, the two most important people in my life, will be there beside me.
Even though we desperately hope for the opportunity to raise many more children, and I cannot wait to be a Dad again someday, we will only get one chance to raise Addison. We will only get one chance to cherish this time that is her childhood. I try my very best to not get caught up in the “what if’s” of the past and the future, but instead to stay present with her…even if that means skipping a nap as my little girl decorates my face with checkers.